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confessions of a booboi

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i really don't know life at all... Jun. 21st, 2007 @ 12:44 am
just felt like posting on this journal, it's been quite awhile.
been reading old posts. and god, could i have been more sappy and love struck. every single post is about the boi (excuse me, ex boi) and blah blah blah. i feel like all of that was a million years ago. things are going great in my life. i've been single now for quite awhile and i'm enjoying it. i have great friends and a great family.
so yeah, tired and have to get up for work way too early. just wanted to post for some odd reason.
that's it for now.
-N
i'm listening to this right now:: both sides now-joni mitchell

Aug. 30th, 2005 @ 01:25 am
haven't posted too much lately because well, i've been busy living life and being creative, wrapping up an album... i only have to work on two more songs and then fix the sound levels and my first album will be done... i'm sooooo proud of myself and it's been a long time coming... spending a lot of time with the boi and i love it!
we are doing so well and things seem to get better and better every day... he's such an amazing and positive influence in my life, and i'm so happy to have him and every other positive person around... i've not really felt like posting anything, most of you know what's up with me anyway...
busy, creative, i'm sooo fucking happy...
going to good old karaoke tomorrow with alisha, her sister might come, that would be lots of fun... spending lots of time doing karaoke, i can't help it, i love to perform... it's at this little bar called Zaks... i love it, it's in kennesaw, oh good not OTP (outside the perimeter for all of you who don't know what that is)... i love going all around, i cannot be one of those midtown/buckhead queers who is afraid to venture away from gay-land, i mean sure it's kennesaw and all, but those people over there rock!!!
so yeah... singing, writing, drawing, painting, creating... i cannot stop... hope everyone is doing well..
blessed be...
-N
"beware out idols and demons will pursue us until we learn to let them go"
this is the current mood of the moody:: calmcalm
i'm listening to this right now:: lovely 2 c u-goldfrapp

homophobia Aug. 8th, 2005 @ 02:47 pm
this is being posted all over LJ and it moved me so much... chills and tears but i think that it should be read..


I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much
to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.


Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong!
i'm listening to this right now:: little amsterdam- tori amos

i'm just a boi with a broken halo! Jul. 30th, 2005 @ 02:17 pm
busy busy busy, but i love it...
may have a job, i'm going over to hand in me app. today... it's for binders (which is an art store, that blows micheals out of the water..) i went there yesterday after having an art talk with the boi about different paints, and i wound up getting some shinny perdy pigment which i can mix with stuff (like egg yolk, or linseed oil for instance) and make perdy things... i started working on new music... i think i just need to master what i've got and send it out to have it all made into a lovely cd and then see what happens...
mainly i want to re-do the vocals, i can sing better i know it..
so wish me luck on the possible job, and the album... i plan to be in the studio, either painting or making music... so if you don't hear much from me then that means i've gone back into mad scientist mode; messed up hair, pen in mouth, chain smoking and cursing...
much is on it's way, just you wait...
over and out...
-N
i'm listening to this right now:: crave-amanda ghost

friends only i'm afraid Jun. 17th, 2005 @ 08:52 pm
so after thinking a lot about it i've decided to make this a friends only journal... and not because i really want to.. i don't have anything to hide... but some people want to use words as weapons and try to bring others down... saying hatefull things and bringing out their own jealousy and insercurity...
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There is no such thing as revenge
You will not give as good as you got
There is no such thing as an eye for an eye
If you think you're the giver, you're not

There is no such thing as regret
There is no point in placing the blame
Hate destroys the one who hates
And everyone suffers the same

What you see
Is not necessarily what you get
Eyes are the window to the soul
Take your judgments
And let them go

There is only love and respect
To thine own self be true
When you point the finger
There are three fingers pointing back at you


-N
this is the current mood of the moody:: calmcalm
i'm listening to this right now:: revenge-madonna
Other entries
» soundtrack for my life the movie
opening credits: us-regina spektor
waking-up scene: ray of light-madonna
average-day scene: today- the smashing pumpkins
best-friend scene: trouble- pink
first-date scene: dislexic heart-paul westerberg
falling-in-love scene: crazy for you-madonna
love scene: silence-delerium w/ sarah mclachlan
fight-with-friend scene: we used to be friends-the dandy warhols/ cut me up-har mar superstar
"life's okay" scene: interstate love song- stone temple pilots
heartbreak scene: sleeping satellite-tasmin archer
mental-breakdown scene: let go-frou frou/ everybody's somebodies fool-connie francis
driving scene: roads-portishead/breakaway-kelly clarkston
lesson-learning scene: every day is exactly the same- nine inch nails/flesh and blood-helicopter girl
deep-thought scene: life turned upsidedown-badly drawn boy
flashback scene: hong kong garden-siouxsie and the banshees
party scene: one word- kelly osborne(it grew on me)/between you and me-marillion
dance scene: oh my gosh-basement jaxx/amazing(full intention club mix)-george michael
regret scene: psychobabble-frou frou
long-night-alone scene: twisted mess-nenah cherry
can't-sleep scene: losing my religion-tori amos
death scene: yesterday-eva cassidy
closing credits: i remember-damien rice/kathy's song-apoptygma berzerk

i actualy decided to make a cd of this, although not all of them fit on one cd, i put as many as i could.. i wanted to get the feel of these songs, i can picture it all in my head...
-N
» my soundtrack?
If you had a soundtrack to your life, list just 10 songs that would be on yours: here's mine

1. ray of light-madonna
2. say goodnight and go- imogen heap
3. push and pull-nikka costa
4. leave the light on- beth hart
5. ode to a divorce- regina spektor
6. somebody-depeche mode
7. roads-porishead
8. army of me-bjork
9. april fools-rufus wainwright
10. statue-low millions
i do have a soundtrack quiz somewhere i need to find... i'll post it later...
-N
» much better
nevermind that last post.. everything is going well... everything in order, i don't have to stay any longer than i want, i can leave here JULY 1, 2005!!!!!!! that's right.... a month till i go back... i'm excited, not so excited at the thought of driving a truck that's towing my car, but hey, i'm a trooper and always up for an adventure... this means i have to get a new pair of glasses soon, contacts and a long trip won't be so great, and i'll need to see where i'm going... although by now you'd think i'd be able to make the drive in my sleep... i think i'm going to go the same route that i went last time, passing through nevada and utah etc etc... might even go see my brother while i'm passing through, who knows... i've be scouting out apartments as well, since i'm not sure about the previous living arrangement, i don't know if i'm still welcome there... so good stuff all around.. it's way too fucking hot in california, it's almost 100 out... oiy... so now the plan of attack starts and i'm gonna get all this figured out in a month, hehe... go me... always making quick moves... now if i can just make things ok with my friend it will be all good...
let's hope...
hope all is well with all of you out there...
-N
» (No Subject)
movin' on up-primal scream
I was blind, now I can see
You made a believer, out of me
I was blind, now I can see
You made a believer, out of me

I’m movin’ on up now
Gettin’ out of the darkness
My light shines on
My light shines on
My light shines on

I was lost, now I’m found
I believe in you, I’ve got no bounds
I was lost, now I’m found
I believe in you, I got no bounds

I’m movin’ on up now
Gettin’ out of the darkness
My light shines on
My light shines on
My light shines on

I heard this song in a "grand theft parsons" (a movie a watched tonight) and the lyrics spoke to me... it's a great song and a very hopefull one too.... just thought i'd share.... i need to make a mix cd for the drive back to atlanta, and this will be on it...
-N
» (No Subject)
Select five of your LJ friends:

1. nevercadabera
2. mouserz
3. midnightapples
4. trendyatrocity
5. amaralis
i couldn't just pick 5, so i'm picking 8....
6. nullzeit
7. souldanzer
8. jtcg

Now pick a song by your favorite band/singer that reminds you of the friends above; post one line from that song.
obviously i'm picking madonna:

1. Nevercadabera: Nothing Fails- Nothing fails, no more fears, nothing fails, you washed away my tears...
2. Mouserz: Intervention: And i know that love will keep us together, i know that love will take us away from here
3.MidnightApples: Secret: Things haven't been the same since you came into my life...
4.Amberyn: I'll remember: I'll remember the love that you gave me, now that i'm standing on my own
5. ModernShadows: This used to be my playground: This used to be the place i ran to whenever i was in need of a friend
6. Nullzeit: Keep it together:When I get lonely and I need to be. Loved for who I am not what they want to see.We have a connection
7.SoulDanzer: I'm going bananas:I'm going bananas. And I feel like my poor little mind is being devoured by piranhas. For I'm going bananas
8.Jtcg: Lucky Star:You must be my Lucky Star. 'Cuz you shine on me wherever you are. I just think of you and I start to glow

this was hard, would have been easier if i didn't have to pick songs from just one performer


and i just had to do this... hehe...
You scored as The Quasi-Gothic Femme. You mope, you frown and you smoke cloves, but secretly you sometimes wish you could look like Gwen Stefani.

</td>

The Femme Fatale

60%

The Quasi-Gothic Femme

60%

The Student Dyke

50%

The Surprise! Dyke

45%

The Pretty-Boi Dyke

45%

The Sprightly Elfin Femme

40%

The Hipster Dyke

40%

The Magic Earring Ken Dyke

40%

The Stud

40%

The Vaginal-Reference-Making Dyke

40%

The Little-Boy Dyke

35%

The Bohemian Dyke

30%

The Granola Dyke

20%

What Type of Lesbian Are You? (Inspired by Curve Mag.)
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